SPANO PEES TRITIUM
Rug-headed county pseudo-executive Andrew (beetle-brow) Spano, in between bouts of going to China, and letting the Westchester Medical center go bankrupt,
has begun to notice, late at night, a certain Tritium Trickle effect. Angered to frustration by the natural element being found in an Indian Point steam pipe, and also being found in the river, Spano forgot to ask if the stuff is found in the air (it is) in space (yes, in the stratosphere) or in the oceans (yes, 3% of the ocean's mass).
Last night, Andy woke up for one of his 8 times-per-night pee events (he IS getting on in years) when the Tritium Meter he keeps in his bathroom went off as Andy emptied his aged and quivering little bladder! Andy was livid!!! He called Susin Tolchin immediately, but she was not home, since she was sitting there holding the tritium meter!
SPANO HAD JUST PEED HALF A LITRE OF PURE YELLOW TRITIUM!!!!
Tritium is a natural element formed by cosmic rays, and present in all water on the planet earth. It is not surprising to find it in Andy Spano's little pee-events, and its not surprising its at Indian Point, either. Andy immediately called CSI, The Journal News, and threw an evidence bag over Ms. Tolchin, who was still pumping the hand-powered trit-o-scope. Soon his home health-aide arrived and gave the beleaguered pseudo-exec his sleepy-meds.
